I stand in the pulpit every Sunday, scanning our tiny meeting hall, trying my best to see the faces of everyone present. Most of what I see is encouraging—parents training their children to pray, sing, and listen to God’s Word; hungry church members nodding their heads and furiously taking notes; attentive visitors engaging for the first time.
But it’s not all rainbows and lollipops. Most Sundays, I also see faces filled with sadness, discouragement, and misery.
Maybe that’s you.
Perhaps you’ve just struggled through another Sunday service. If you’ve ever wondered why sometimes church feels more like a burden than a blessing, here are five possible reasons why (and what you can do about them).
1. It’s your season of life.
There’s a big difference between the life of a single 20-something and the life of a mom with three toddlers. As a young single, you probably sat through an entire church service with zero distractions. As a mother-of-three, you are now wiping baby spit-up during the call to worship, whispering threats during the sermon, and rushing to the bathroom during the benediction.
Life is full of ups and downs, and each season has unique challenges: post-partum depression, breakup, illness, work stress, or relational conflict in the church (Eccl. 3:1–8). It could be you’re struggling to enjoy church right now because you’re struggling with life in general.
Don’t be discouraged. Remember, no season lasts forever (Song 2:11).
2. It’s your petty preferences.
Maybe you’re not enjoying church because you haven’t yet come to see yourself as a servant in the Master’s house (Phil. 2:3–8). When you come to church, all you can think about is what the church does wrong. Maybe your church serves the wrong kind of coffee, doesn’t sing your favorite songs, or fails to offer the children’s curriculum you prefer. Maybe you’re not enjoying church because you’ve allowed your petty preferences to blind you to the glory of Christ in your imperfect congregation’s gatherings.
Ask yourself these questions:
- Is the gospel faithfully preached each week?
- Is your church aiming to practice loving, biblical community and meaningful church membership?
- Is your church engaged in evangelism and discipleship?
- Is your church’s leadership biblical and faithful?
If so, maybe the problem isn’t your church, but you. Perhaps you’ve elevated your preferences above biblical principles and that’s robbing you of the joy that should and can be yours on Sunday. Ask God for the help to value what he values, and to give you a more generous spirit with the things that have been bugging you.
3. Your church is unhealthy.
What if the answer to all or some of the questions above is “no”? Your church could be unhealthy or going through a time of trial. This would make sense of your Sunday struggles.
Perhaps what you’re feeling is holy discontentment. Maybe God is telling you to find a church where you can worship in spirit and truth, grow in grace, and use your spiritual gifts in a more fruitful way. Perhaps he’s calling you to stay and fight for the peace and purity of your church. Either way, Sundays will be challenging.
So whether you find a new, healthier church or stick with your current one, do so with a fierce determination to see and savor Christ every Sunday, no matter the challenge (Ps. 34:8).
4. You’re caught in habitual sin.
Could it be that you don’t enjoy communion with Christ on Sundays because of your sin throughout the rest of the week? Paraphrasing John Owen, Mike McKinley says that if there’s anything lacking in our communion with Jesus, the problem is on our end.
Maybe you’re not enjoying church because you’ve allowed your petty preferences to blind you to the glory of Christ in your imperfect congregation’s gatherings.
You simply won’t enjoy his presence if you’re mistreating your spouse or consuming pornography or stealing money from your workplace. You won’t feel Jesus’s closeness and pleasure if you’re withholding love from your brothers and sisters in the church, failing to be generous to those in need, or refusing to forgive those who sin against you.
If communion with Christ doesn’t seem sweet to you because you’ve developed a taste for sin, there’s good news. The path to Sunday morning joy is open to you now. Turn away from your sin, throw yourself on the mercy of Christ, and he’ll forgive you, cleanse you, and restore your joy (Ps. 51:12).
5. You don’t know Jesus.
You may not enjoy church because you aren’t a Christian. I remember going to church as a non-Christian; I hated every second. I was too bored to be bothered by the gospel, too disengaged to be offended by the cross. I didn’t know the songs, and I had zero desire to hear from God’s Word.
Does this describe you? Could it be that you don’t enjoy church because you don’t know Jesus? If so, the good news is that Jesus loves you and will welcome you into his joy if you come to him. He wants you to live (Ezek. 18:32), know him (John 17:3), love him (Zeph. 3:17), and enjoy him forever (Matt. 25:23).
Sunday mornings aren’t always easy, even for Christians. But when you grow in love for Christ, you’ll love his Bride (Eph. 5:25–27) and enjoy spending time with her both now and forever (Rev. 19:6–9).